I tried to keep this short and sweet, but fate wouldn’t have it.
It’s a new year, and while I wouldn’t go so far as claiming that it’s a “new me,” I am claiming a renewed commitment to this little space of the internet. In other works, I’m back! With no empty promises this time!
These past six months have been a whirlwind. And honestly, ever since we returned from Spain this summer, I really haven’t had much time at all to dedicate to myself or this blog. Between moving to New York and finding and settling into a new job, attention to this space has fallen by the wayside.
Excuses, excuses. I know. But this decision hasn’t come out of the blue – it is something that has been on my mind for quite some time now. I am beginning this blog again with a renewed purpose.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with life. Or rather, with what the future may hold. I’ve got my college diploma and a job in the city (with a humanities degree – that is saying something!), but I have no idea what the next step will be. Or even what I WANT the next step to be.
I feel like this stage in my life is a place holder for what will come next. But. What. Will. Come. Next?
Sometimes, when my head hits the pillow at the end of a long day, I want to scream, cry, yell at the world and at myself, not because I feel like I am not going anywhere, but because I feel that I am no closer to figuring out where exactly that “anywhere” is. Sometimes those tears do come, and thank god I have someone in my life to talk me down.
I’ve realized that I’ve been so focused over the past several years on trying to explore as much of the world as I could that I’ve forgotten to take the time to explore myself. What do I want to do? That’s the “Big Question”. Sounds cliché, I know, but it is something that I find myself panicking over more and more frequently. I mean, shouldn’t I have figured this out in college? Isn’t this why I switched my majors a half dozen times? Shouldn’t I have a shiny LIFE goal posted somewhere to work towards?
I guess I’m a bit late in joining the Existential Crisis Club. But, as I’m coming to realize, I’m not alone in that anxiety. My friends, coworkers, and other internet babes all seem to be having trouble with coming terms to the Big Question, too, despite being in their 20’s and beyond. If you’re one of these people, please let me know! I could use all the allies I can get.
So, I’ve decided I need this. I need this blog. I need this little space to let my creative juices run, to have a little fun, and to engage in the internet community that I’ve always loved (maybe I’m getting somewhere here, hm…). But most importantly, I need this space to reflect and learn a little more about myself in the process.
So, hello world. My name is Erin. Come and join me on my journey of city- and self-exploration (this time for real!).